Misunderstandings
by JuliaB
Summary: After a hard day at work Tony visits Kate at her place to make sure she's ok. Things get very emotional and they finally give in to their feelings. But then a misunderstanding causes a serious amount of problems.
1. A hard day

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.

**Chapter 1: A hard day**

Typing the last words of his report Tony glanced over at Kate who was sitting her table with a pen in her hand, but didn't seem to be doing anything at all. She just sat there, her gaze fixed on a blank spot on the table, an expression of utter sadness on her face. She'd been sitting there like this for more than half an hour and Tony was beginning to get worried. At first he'd tried to wake her up from her paralyzed state by tossing a paper clip over to her. It had landed on the table in front of her and Kate had looked up, surprised by the sound, but otherwise hardly paying attention. Tony had stared at her in disbelief because he had already been prepared for a heated discussion over the question of how-childish-and-immature-does-one-adult-have-to-be-when-he-finds-it-funny-to-toss-paper-clips-at-other-people? What was wrong with her?

Tony finished the report and looked at his watch. 7.30 p.m. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to leave the office before 8? But he stayed at his table watching Kate. She'd finally started to move and was now taking some notes on the pad in front of her. But the expression on her face hadn't changed. She still looked sad and very tired and Tony felt with her. It had been a hard day, a tough case having finally come to a very unpleasant conclusion. They'd had the suspect for the murder of a female lieutenant in interrogation the whole morning. The lieutenant had been a single mom and when her neighbour had found her dead in her living room her two children had been missing from the house. There'd been no blood in the children's rooms so they had hoped to find the five year old boy and seven year old girl alive. But the suspect had finally cracked during interrogation and admitted to having murdered the two children. He led them to the house where he was keeping the bodies. Tony shuddered at the memory. Yes, he could understand the state that Kate was in right now.

"Kate?" he said.

She looked up from the pad and met his gaze. "What is it?"

"You finished yet?"

"Would I be here if I had?"

He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Hard day, wasn't it?"

She just kept looking at him and Tony felt quite uncomfortable under her imploring gaze. He wanted to walk over to her and put an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. Make the sadness disappear from her eyes. But he didn't move.

"I was just thinking, maybe you should call it a day and head home. Get some rest." He smiled at her.

"Oh yes, thanks, mom," she replied sarcastically, and got back to work.

Tony sighed. She was definitely not in the mood to take any good advice. Maybe he should go and leave her alone. But he stayed, pretending he was still working on the report. It wasn't before 8:30 that Kate finally gathered her things up and took her purse out from the drawer she always kept it in. Nodding at Tony she murmured something about seeing him tomorrow and headed for the elevators. First thing Tony wanted to do was to follow her, but he didn't move. He heard the 'ding' from the elevator and watched her step inside. When she was gone, Tony leaned back in the chair and ran a hand across his face feeling rather stupid.


	2. Breakdown

**Chapter 2: Breakdown**

He had been standing in the darkness in front of her door for ten minutes now and still hadn't decided if he should knock or just leave again. He was pretty sure that she didn't want to see him, but he didn't want her to be alone either, not when she was in a state like today. He knew the case was affecting her even if she didn't want to talk about it. It had also been hard for him, but he, unlike her, didn't let it get so close to him. He should knock.

But wasn't it possible that she was already feeling better? Maybe all she had needed was a shower and something to eat. Maybe she didn't need his support and he'd better leave and not risk getting on her nerves. He should go.

Tony was about to leave when suddenly the door was opened and Kate was standing in front of him, one hand on the doorframe, the other still on the handle, staring at him. She was wearing a pair of old, worn-out jeans and a dark-blue t-shirt that wasn't actually tight, but did cling quite nicely to some parts of her body. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail and she no longer wore make-up, but Tony found that she had hardly ever looked as beautiful as in this very moment. Of course she was an attractive woman, there'd been no doubt about that since the first time he had seen her, but the way she was looking at him right now, her expression somewhere between shock and obvious relief, her dark eyes shining from unshed tears, he found her more beautiful than ever.

"Tony," she said. "What the hell are you doing here standing in front of my door? It scared the hell out of me when I saw your silhouette through the window!"

"I was just thinking about calling you first," he lied. "Didn't want to surprise you like that."

"Okay," she said slowly, making it obvious that she didn't quite believe that story. "And what exactly are you doing here?"

"I'm checking on you to see if everything's okay, you know, because of the case and everything. Can I come in?"

For a moment he was sure that she'd turn him down, but then she took her hand away from the doorframe and stepped back. "Come on in," she said quietly.

Wearing his broadest grin he stepped past her and came into a living room that was so clean that his own looked like Jabba's cave in „The Return of the Jedi" in comparison to it. On the left there was an open passage to the kitchen, in the wall on the opposite side of the entry there was a door that stood ajar, but it was too dark behind it to see anything. In the middle of the room he saw a huge couch that was facing the TV standing near the wall to the right. No video or DVD-player, he noted. On the couch there was a blanket that wasn't folded and on the small table in front of it stood a cup with tea or coffee in it. Since these were the only two things that looked out of place he guessed that before she'd seen him through the window Kate had been curled up on the couch with the blanket around her shoulders and a cup of tea in her hands.

"Can I offer you something?" she asked, waking him from his thoughts. "Beer?"

"Sure. Thanks."

She went into the kitchen and he watched her open the fridge and bend down to get the beer. He couldn't help but notice how well the jeans suited her backside. Usually he didn't see her dressed like that. She looked somehow cute.

Back in the living room she gestured for him to sit down and then took a seat on the couch again. When he sat next to her she gave him his beer and then made herself comfortable by tucking her legs under her body and wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. She took her cup in both hands and thoughtfully studied its content, ignoring her visitor.

"Are you cold?" Tony asked. He thought it was quite warm in the room, but Kate was holding on to the blanket as if she was freezing.

She only shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Tony finally asked. "Back in the office you seemed very upset to me."

She looked at him over the edge of her cup, but didn't answer, and Tony took a sip from his bottle in order not to show how uncomfortable he felt. Obviously she didn't want to talk about it and he didn't even know if she was actually in need of any comfort. He only had this feeling … And spending the evening on the couch in an only half-lit room wrapped into a blanket – that wasn't something you'd do when you're feeling okay. But to be honest, he had no idea how she normally spent her evenings. Hadn't it been him who had repeatedly teased her for not going out often enough? Maybe this couch and tea thing was just normal for her.

"What were you doing before I came?" he asked because he couldn't think of a more subtle way to find out.

"Thinking," she murmured.

"'bout the case?"

She nodded.

"You shouldn't let it get too close to you," he said. "We just see too much of it. When you let it get too close, it breaks you."

"I know that, Tony!" she snapped.

He shot her a surprised look. Normally she didn't get angry so easily.

"It's not like I've never seen anything like it before," she said quietly, more to herself than to him. "But…It's always different with kids." She nervously played with the cup in her hands, keeping her eyes on her fingertips.

Tony sighed. "You're right," he said. Kate had been the first to enter the small room in the cellar while he had covered her. The smell down there had already told them that what they were going to find wouldn't be nice to look at. But then to really see the two small bodies, thrown into a corner like something old that you didn't need any longer…Tony took another sip of his beer trying to erase the memory of that smell, but it didn't help much. For it to help it would have taken something much stronger than just beer.

They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts. Tony noticed that Kate kept pulling the blanket closer around her shoulders. She was shivering, he could tell, and it worried him. Finally he took a deep breath and asked again: "You really okay?" In fact she hadn't answered his first question at all.

This time she didn't either. She just sat there kneading the blanket in her hands.

It was then that Tony put his beer on the table and moved closer to her on the couch. "Kate?" He put one hand on her shoulder. She felt fragile, even under the blanket, and the fact that she hadn't even tried to avoid his touch kind of scared him. "Katie, please say something", he whispered.

Slowly, her gaze came up to meet his and her black eyes bored into his blue ones. Again he saw the tears in them which didn't want to fall.

"Have you ever asked yourself why we are doing this?" she asked.

"Why we are doing what?"

Her lower lip was trembling. She swallowed and then spoke: "Why we are out there every day to catch the bad guys when in the end we are unable to protect two little children."

"But we do protect them!" he said. "Of course we can't save all of them. But think of all those who are save because we put a bad guy in prison."

"That doesn't bring the victims alive again."

"Of course it doesn't, we don't have any superpowers after all." He smiled at her, but immediately realised that his words hadn't been the right thing to say. He tried another approach: "It's terrible what people do to each other. But we are doing all we can to stop them. We are!"

Kate bit her lower lip and wrapped her arms tightly around her body. A single tear dropped down from her lashes onto her cheek and rolled down to her chin. Tony brushed it away with his thumb.

"It's just that sometimes I am so sick of it," she whispered and a second tear followed the first one. "Sometimes I'd give anything for a life without dead bodies in it. All the normal people out there, they don't know what human beings do to each other. They …" She couldn't go on when a sob made her voice crack. Quickly she buried her face in her arms and turned away from Tony.

He was staring at her, unable to believe what he was seeing. Kate was crying! Kate, crying! He was about to panick, that's just the effect crying women had on him, but then he forced himself to calm down. Kate needed him. Wasn't that why he had come here in the first place? So he shifted closer to her on the couch and gently put one arm around her shoulders. "Kate," he said softly. "It's okay, don't cry."

She let him pull her around to face him and slowly her hands wandered up to Tony's shoulders where she closed her fingers in the fabric of his shirt. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her body shaking with violent sobs.

Not knowing what else he could do, Tony put both arms around her and rested his cheek against her head. He had never seen her like this before, hadn't even expected that she could break down like this. Now she was shaking and sobbing in his arms and felt so fragile that it made his chest ache. He felt her tears roll down the side of his neck and the trembling of her body seemed to spread into his own. He stroked her hair lovingly and kissed her temple, but had no idea what he could do to help her.

After some minutes, her sobs started to subside. Finally she let go of his shirt and brought her hands up to her face to wipe the tears away. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice still weak. "I…I don't know what…"

"Hey!" Tony cupped her cheeks with his hands. „It's okay. No problem." He smiled at her while his thumb was stroking over her wet cheek. Looking at her he felt a strange tugging in his chest that he had never felt before. But it made breathing hard and his hands started to shake. "How are you feeling?" he asked and hoped that she didn't notice the trembling in his voice.

She nodded weakly, but was still trying to hide her face from him. With one hand on her cheek Tony turned her face to him. "Kate," he said. "It really is okay." He smiled at her then bent forward and kissed her cheek. He could taste the salt of her tears on her skin. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, his face still only inches from hers.

Her nod was almost imperceptible. She was looking at him and there was an expression in her eyes that he had never seen there before. And then all of a sudden, her lips were on his and her arms went around his neck, pulling him as close as possible.

At first he was too surprised to react, but soon he gave in to her and started to kiss her back. He wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer and the kiss deepened. For a moment he was smiling inwardly at the thought that he would have never expected a girl from a catholic school to be such a great kisser. But he was far from making any stupid comment about it. This was far too good to ruin it like this.

Soon his hands crawled under the hem of her shirt. The skin of her back felt soft and hot and he loved how he could make her shiver by running his fingers gently down her spine. Without consciously thinking about it, one of his hands lowered and got a hold on the hem of her jeans to pull her towards him. When she reacted by pushing one of her legs over his thighs to straddle his lap he gasped in surprise.

The kiss grew more passionate when she pressed her body against his. One of his hands came up and freed her hair from the pony tail then threaded through her dark locks. But even though Tony was enjoying every second of this, he was fighting with himself like never before. He knew what they were doing was wrong and that Kate would soon regret it. She wasn't herself right now and didn't know what she was doing. But that was only his head talking. His body told him differently. When Kate slowly started to unbutton his shirt and then placed open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone and shoulder a moan escaped from his lips. And as her hands wandered down his bare chest and stomach, all the worries were suddenly gone from his head. It's also possible that he simply stopped thinking at all, he couldn't quite remember later on. All he knew was that he suddenly stood up, still holding her tight and that her legs went around his hips to get a better hold.

"Where…bedroom?" he whispered against her lips.

"Through the door." She gasped when he kissed her neck. "Down the corridor."

- - -

Later she lay awake in his arms and listened to the sound of his breathing. The heat of his body and his arms around her made her feel warm and safe. No, she was not going to worry about it right now. It could wait. Right now she only wanted to feel him next to her. It was going to be okay, she told herself before falling to sleep.

tbc…


	3. Waking up

**Chapter 3: ****Waking up**

In the middle of the night she woke up feeling all happy and relaxed. It took some moments for her to remember the reason why she felt so good. The memory itself, then, was a little bit disturbing. She had slept with Tony. God! She had slept with Tony DiNozzo! Oh my god! Gibbs would only have to look at them once and he'd know immediately. And Abby, too! In order to regain some of her self-respect Kate tried to convince herself that this … incident had been completely irrational and incomprehensible, but she failed. She could have seen it coming. For too long she had been secretly watching him when he wasn't paying attention. For too long she had marvelled at the sight of how some of his jeans and shirts underlined how well trained his body was. And for far, far too long she'd had butterflies in her stomach like some stupid girly when he grinned at her. No, she really could have seen it coming.

Kate pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders because she was cold. She'd felt so much more comfortable with Tony's arms around her. Why wasn't he holding her any longer? She turned around to get closer to him. Only then did she realize that she was alone in her bed. Surprised she sat up and looked around the dark room. Her radio clock told her it was 3:34 in the morning. The room was pitch black, no moonlight coming in through the window.

Kate turned on the lamp on her bedside table, got out of the bed and put on the long t-shirt that she normally wore as a pyjama. She noticed that Tony's clothes had vanished from the floor next to her bed. Freezing and with a bad feeling in her stomach she left the bedroom and tapped into the living room. It was empty, too. She checked the kitchen. Maybe he had left the bed in order to get something to drink. But Tony wasn't there.

Slowly, Kate sank down on one of the chairs and propped her elbows up on the table. She was so damn stupid! She'd known Tony for two years now, had had to listen to dozens of stories about him and his latest "girlfriend" and still believed that he was a guy who'd stay for breakfast. She crossed her arms on the table and buried her face in them. Tears were burning behind her eyelids, but she didn't want to let them fall. She'd been stupid enough to think Tony DiNozzo could actually have some serious intentions when spending the night with a woman. No, she wouldn't cry. He'd done exactly what she'd criticised him for a dozen times already: he'd slept with a woman and had sneaked out as soon as he'd had the possibility to do so. She should have known better.

The first light of day found Kate still sitting in the kitchen. She was surprised when the first rays of sunlight touched her hands because she hadn't noticed how the hours had passed. She felt tired and extremely sore inside her chest. She thought about calling Gibbs to tell him that she was ill, but she couldn't do it; Tony would immediately know why she wasn't showing up. How she was supposed to get through the day she did not know. But she finally stood up from the table to go and take a shower. When she went into her bedroom afterwards she found herself confronted with the smell of his cologne that still lingered on the sheets. The scent flooded her head with memories. Memories of his body pressed against hers, his hot breath on her skin and his lips on hers. It made tears well up in her eyes again.

Couldn't it all just be a misunderstanding? Maybe he couldn't sleep and didn't want to lie awake next to her all night, so he had left. Maybe he assumed she wouldn't want him to still be here in the morning. It was possible, wasn't it? She clung to the thought, otherwise she would have never managed to get to the office. When she'd finally pulled into a vacant spot in the parking lot, she got out of the car with her knees feeling weak . Tony's car was right beside hers. He was already there.

On the elevator she felt a sudden rush of panic and almost chickened out. But when the doors opened, she took the last bits of strength she had left and entered the office. Her eyes immediately fixed on Tony, who sat at his desk, very occupied with doing nothing. Her heart jumped at the sight and she wanted to hit herself. She approached her desk carefully. Tony hadn't seen her yet because he was staring at the ceiling, heels resting on the table, his thoughts obviously completely elsewhere. She had almost reached her chair when McGee nodded towards her. "Morning, Kate," he greeted her.

Tony almost lost his balance on the chair and had to grab the edge of the table with both hands in order not to tumble over. His feet came back to the floor with a loud thud. His eyes met Kate's for a second. She was immensely proud of herself for not allowing the sheepish grin to spread on her face. Even though she wanted to run to him and throw herself into his arms, she just stood there looking at him and waited for him to make the first move. Later she believed that this could have been her major mistake, but she couldn't change it, then.

"Hey, Kate," Tony said, a little bit too late. Then he leaned back on his chair again, put the feet on the table like before and continued to stare at the ceiling.

To say that Kate was upset would have been the understatement of the century. Her heart had just broken. Of course she hadn't expected him to ravish her in the middle of the office, but she had expected…something! At least a reaction that went beyond a stupid "Hey, Kate". "He hardly even looked at me," she thought, and it was burning a hole right through her chest.

"Morning," she murmured and sat down behind her desk. She switched on the computer and put her purse into one of the drawers. Shame was burning on her cheeks. She felt humiliated and used. He slept with her and the next day she wasn't even worth a smile – or more than two words! How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so wrong about him? Even if it may have seemed differently, she had had control over her actions the last evening. Of course she had been in a bad state and the whole situation had not exactly been normal, but she still hadn't kissed him out of some strange mood. She had done it because she had wished so often before that maybe Tony felt like she did. That his heart beat faster when she smiled at him. That maybe he could imagine being in a relationship with her. If she didn't have these feelings, if it had been nothing more than a one-night-stand for her, things wouldn't be so bad. She could have lived with that, she was a grown woman after all. Sex was something that happened between adults. Maybe, some day they would have laughed about it. But she did have these feelings and the fact that Tony didn't seem to care at all was like torture.

"Tony, Kate, McGee, we're heading out!" Gibbs had suddenly appeared on the stairs and pointed at the three of them. He rushed past them towards the elevator, then stopped and turned around. "What are you waiting for?" he asked, and the three of them hurried to get their stuff and ran after him.

In the elevator Kate came to stand directly next to Tony. When he shifted his weight a little bit his arm brushed hers gently. It wasn't even a real touch, only the fabric of his jacket rubbing against hers, but Kate almost broke down. Her eyes started to burn again and her knees began to shake. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and visions of the night before invaded her head. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be with him working on the case for the rest of the day. It was going to kill her.

The ride on the elevator seemed to take hours. When the doors finally opened, Kate was the first one out, rushing past McGee almost shoving him against the wall. Tony was looking after her, a pained expression on his face, but she didn't look back to see it.

tbc …

_A/N: Please, tell me if you liked it so far. Your reviews keep me working!_


	4. Back to work

**Chapter 4:**** Back to work**

At the car Kate opted for one of the back seats. Gibbs was going to drive and she couldn't bear the thought of sitting on the passenger's seat with Tony right behind her. She'd go crazy feeling his look on the back of her head. So she quietly sat in the back of the car, staring out of the window and desperately trying not to look at Tony. She did notice, though, that he was unusually quiet. Actually, he didn't say a word during the whole ride to the crime scene and Gibbs dropped some comments about being finally able to imagine how peaceful life would be without Tony. Kate felt with him.

A twenty-two year old male ensign had been found dead in the small alley behind a bar in the city. The owner of the bar was at the scene, along with two of the ensign's comrades who had been at the bar with the victim. Gibbs and Tony questioned the three men while Kate and McGee investigated the crime scene. Ducky was there too and had already finished his first examination of the body.

"COD?" Kate asked.

"Most likely blood loss from the stab wound in his abdomen – since it's the only obvious wound."

"And since the victim is lying in a pool of his own blood", Kate thought. Aloud, she said: "Are we looking for a knife?"

"Very likely", the M.E. commented, leaning closer over the wound. "Can't be sure before the autopsy, of course."

"Of course", Kate sighed. She looked over the crime scene. Tony was standing at some distance, talking with one of the two ensigns. McGee was looking inside the dumpster that was standing next to the back door of the bar. She went over to him.

"Ducky says we are looking for a knife with blood on it", she said.

McGee nodded. "This murder looks like the outcome of a simple bar-fight to me", he said.

"Yes, it does", Kate nodded. She was still fighting the urge to look over to where Tony was standing. That's why she didn't notice when he came over to her and jumped at the sound of his voice – she hadn't heard him talk since his "Hey, Kate" this morning.

"The ensign's friends say that the three of them came to the bar to drink some beers and maybe chat with some girls. Around midnight, the victim left because he was supposed to be on duty this morning. That was the last time the two of them saw him."

"And they didn't mention anything else?" Kate asked, desperately trying to keep her voice neutral. Her heart had just skipped a beat at the thought of what she had been doing around last midnight. She cleared her throat. "Was there an argument with someone in the bar? Anything like that?"

Tony shook his head. "Seems like our vic was a friendly guy. No enemies the two over there could think of. He didn't even talk to anyone else in the bar yesterday – except the waitress, who's supposed to be here within the next minutes."

"Why isn't she still here?" Kate asked. "Did she just go home after a dead body was found behind the bar?"

"Her shift was over at one o'clock. She left through the front door and went home – or so did the barkeeper say."

At that moment Gibbs reached them and looked them over questioningly.

"What is it, boss?" Tony asked.

"Well, we are here at a crime scene and to me it seems like the street is quite empty – except for the body."

"Yes?" Tony said, hesitantly.

"Then why the hell isn't anyone of you inside the dumpster yet?" he suddenly yelled, making McGee jump and Tony wince.

Tony obviously didn't feel the urgent need to pass the rest of the morning digging through other people's garbage. He looked at Gibbs, then at McGee and since he didn't seem to be able to look at Kate, this was going to be a thing between him and McGee. The decision fell over a game of "stone, paper, scissors". Tony won.

"Best of three!" McGee whined, but Tony shook his head and turned away from him.

"Tony, Kate", Gibbs barked and they both looked at him. "Seems like the waitress has just arrived." He nodded in the direction where the barkeeper was still standing. An attractive blonde was now standing next to him and Kate couldn't help but look at Tony. She shouldn't have. There was that look on his face that normally made her roll her eyes, but that today made her chest ache.

"You want me to question her, boss?" he asked.

"You two go over and find out if she noticed something suspicious. I'll talk to Ducky about the estimated time of death."

Sighing inside, Kate followed Tony out of the alley. He went straight for the tall blonde, who was wearing ridiculously tight jeans and a top that was hardly worth the effort of putting it on at all – for it hardly covered anything. A surprised smile spread on her overly made-up face when she saw Tony and reached for the hand he offered to shake it.

"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, smiling at her. "I am very sorry that you were disturbed so early in the morning. I will try to make this as quick as possible."

"Don't worry", she answered warmly. "Take your time."

Kate was fighting the urge to throw up.

The waitress – Candy, what a surprise! - didn't have much to tell them, either. She remembered having seen the three ensigns in the bar, but hadn't noticed any interaction between them and other guests.

"Would you have noticed if they had talked to someone?" Kate asked. It was her first question.

The blonde nodded seriously, eyes fixed on Tony. "I'm pretty sure I would have. You know, with the fight earlier that evening I was a little nervous."

"Fight?" Kate and Tony echoed.

The waitress looked at them and shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, the fight. Earlier in the evening, two men got into a fight over a game of cards. One punched the other in the face, then they were separated by their friends. The one who was bleeding left shortly afterwards."

"Why didn't anyone tell us about it?" Tony.

"Well …" The blonde smiled dumbly. "You asked if I'd noticed anything suspicious while the three ensigns were in the bar and I said no. They arrived after the fight was already over."

Kate sighed. She looked at Tony and for the first time today his gaze met hers for more than a second.

"Do you remember anything about the men who got into the fight? Or maybe your boss does?" Kate looked at the waitress expectantly.

"Well yes, I remember what they looked like. But I didn't know them. Maybe Bill can help you, though."

Kate happily volunteered to go and talk to the barkeeper, so she could get away from Tony. Bill, how the blonde had referred to him, remembered the fight and could give her the first name of one of the men involved: Ed. Wonderful, she thought, not like that was a common name!

"Ed's been here a couple of times", the barkeeper continued. "Hadn't seen the other one before, though. Young guy – and obviously knew how to defend himself. Sent Ed to the ground with a bleeding nose."

"Why?"

"I think Ed owed the other one money after the game. But he didn't want to pay and accused the young guy of cheating. He threatened him, then the fight started."

"Did Ed leave afterwards?"

"Yes. Felt embarrassed, I could tell."

"And he didn't come back?"

"Didn't see him again."

"Okay." Kate sighed. "We're going to need a description of Ed and the other guy. Do you think you could help us with it?"

"Sure."

Leaving Bill with one of the officers Kate returned to Tony and the blonde, in time to see her cover her lips with one hand and giggle ridiculously at something Tony had just said. He grinned broadly, obviously pleased with himself. Before Kate reached them he handed the waitress his card and told her to call him in case she remembered something else. But Kate saw the small wink he gave her. The blonde slipped the card into her purse then stepped next to Tony, took the pen out of his hand and started to write on his notepad.

"This is my private number", she explained. "In case you have any more questions." She touched his arm lightly before going back over to Bill.

Kate watched her leave, then looked at Tony. When she saw the expression that showed on his face while he watched the waitress walk away, she felt her heart break a little bit more.

It was after midday when they had talked to everyone they were able to find who had been in the bar last night. However, they hadn't been able to get a lead on the two men who had been involved in the fight yesterday evening.

McGee had emptied the dumpster into five huge black plastic bags, which were now waiting to be sent to the lab. Kate, Tony, McGee and Gibbs gathered in front of the car to put together the things they'd heard.

"After everything we've heard it's quite unlikely that Ensign Tyler got into a fight or an argument last night", Tony said. "He came into the bar and had some drinks with his friends, then left."

"And somehow ended in the street behind the bar", McGee added.

Tony stepped a little bit closer to him, sniffled carefully and then quickly drew back. "You smell like …", he started, but was interrupted by McGee who suggested: "A dumpster, Tony? What a surprise!"

Tony looked around at the others, but Gibbs hadn't been paying attention and Kate was studying her notepad. When would she be able to look at him again?

Sighing, Tony let McGee alone and continued: "For me there are two possibilities", he said. "Number one is that something happened in the bar while he was there that none of the others noticed. Sometimes one look is enough …"

"Unlikely", Gibbs interrupted. "What's number two?"

"Number two is that he got into a fight after leaving the bar. It's still strange, though, that no-one noticed."

"What's strange to me is that there was a fight in that bar and three hours later a man was stabbed", Kate said. "And that this man seems to have had no relation to the fight at all. Isn't that quite a coincidence?"

"There are fights at bars all the time, Kate", Tony reasoned.

"How clever, Tony!" Kate snapped. "What are you suggesting? That we just ignore it happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Gibbs asked her.

"Maybe the fight wasn't over after the guys left the bar. Maybe they started the fight again outside and Ensign Tyler somehow got into it."

"But he died three hours after the fight", Tony reminded her. "Why would they've stayed so long?"

"I don't know!" she said angrily.

Tony sighed. He wasn't trying to find arguments against her, he simply wanted to discuss the case. Why did she have to be so stubborn?

_Well, isn't that obvious, you idiot? You used the fact that she trusts you and spilled out her heart in front of you to get her into bed! _

_I didn't try to get her into bed! It just happened. _

_Then why are you feeling so guilty?_

Tony looked over at Kate. The afternoon sun made her dark hair glitter and her eyes shine even though there was this angry look in them. He sighed. He felt guilty for having sneaked out in the night. But he'd known he wouldn't be able to face her when she woke up. He hadn't wanted to see the shock on her face when she realised what she'd done. What he'd done. He didn't know what he'd expected it to be like in the office. He'd thought he would just wait and hope for the best. Then she'd come in, looking all tired and exhausted and sad and he'd felt even worse. He had done that to her, because he was too much a slave to his hormones to be able to keep his feelings at bay. Secretly he'd hoped for her to smile at him when she saw him and give him a look that would say: "We're okay. We'll talk about it later." But nothing of it had happened. She had just looked at him in shock and hadn't said a word. It was then that he'd decided he would make this as easy as possible for her by acting as if nothing had happened. Maybe she could forget about it then, even if he knew he never would. But now he knew that it wasn't going to be that easy, for neither of them. All he could do was make clear to her that he didn't expect anything and that she didn't have to worry about him going after her.

"I'm with Kate here", Gibbs finally said. "There might be a relation between the fight and the ensign's death. What we have to do now is find those guys who were involved in the fight. McGee, you're going back to the office. Help Abby process the evidence. Kate, Tony, you'll check the nearest hospitals. One of the men was hurt in the fight. Check if anyone matching our description showed up at one of the hospitals last night."

Tony and Kate nodded and were about to turn around, when Gibbs called them once more: "I don't know what is going on between the two of you today, but I swear, if you don't keep it out of your work I will personally kick your sorry asses up the stairs to the director's office!" he threatened.

"Yes, boss", they said in unison.

tbc ...

_Reviews please !!!_


	5. Can't forget

**Chapter 5: Can't forget**

Five hours later Tony and Kate were standing in front of the interrogation room window. Inside, Gibbs was interrogating Ed, one of the men involved in the bar fight. They had found him in his apartment after having found out his whole name in the hospital where he'd shown up last evening with a broken nose.

While they were standing there Tony kept throwing side glances at Kate, hoping she would meet his gaze, but not knowing what he'd do if she did. Should he ask her if she wanted to talk? Would she want to? Would he want to? Definitely not! It would only give her an opportunity to shout at him and call him all the things she was without doubt already calling him in her thoughts. But maybe afterwards things would come back to normal. They had to do something about it, after all! But maybe what they should do was wait, let some time pass. Today, all the feelings were still too fresh and Tony was hurting too much. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, felt her. He remembered exactly what it had felt like to hold her in his arms, her warm body pressed against his. He had lain awake next to her sleeping form, well aware of what he had done, of the mistake he had made, and yet feeling so happy. He hadn't wanted to leave, but finally fear had gotten the best of him and he had sneaked out like a criminal.

One more time he looked at her and his eyes were caught by her black hair. He knew how soft it felt under his touch, like silk, and he knew its flowery scent. For a moment he really had to fight the urge to reach out and touch it. But it was exactly then that Kate shot him an annoyed glare. Her expression was exactly the opposite of what he'd gotten to know last night. Then it had been soft and passionate, now it was hard and angry. "Stop staring!" she snapped.

Tony suddenly felt the heat spread on his face and quickly looked away. Gibbs had already handed Ed a piece of paper and a pen to have him write down his confession, but the suspect still claimed that he was innocent.

"Who does he want to fool?" Kate murmured to herself. To her it was quite obvious what had happened: Ed had returned to the bar after having left the hospital, still drunk and very angry with the man who had broken his nose. He had seen Ensign Tyler leave the bar and since the victim had approximately the same size and same age as Ed's earlier opponent, and in addition to that had worn a shirt of the same colour, Ed had taken the young Navy officer for the other man, had dragged him into the backstreet and had stabbed him with a knife. They hadn't yet identified the murder weapon, but Abby was already examining all the knifes they had found in Ed's apartment, including one pocket-knife with some blood on the handle.

Tony's phone rang just as Ed angrily tossed the paper back across the table. He looked at the display but didn't recognize the number.

"DiNozzo" he said. Kate listened without watching him. "Oh, hey!" he exclaimed, obviously recognizing the person on the line. "Yes, look, can you wait a sec?" He turned from the window and walked out the door, closing it behind him, but not caring that the lock didn't click shut. Through the small gap Kate could still hear him talk.

"Ok, Candy, sorry, hi again. What's up? … Uh, I see … Yeah … So it's your evening off … Meet you at the bar? … Ah … I don't know, you know, depends on when I'll get off myself. … Yes … Yes, I'll call you as soon as I know … Yeah, it's a good idea … Yeah, I'd like that … Yeah, good. Bye then … yeah, see ya."

Kate let out the breath she had been holding since she'd heard Tony say the name of the blond waitress they'd met this morning. Wasn't the type to let some time pass and take it slow, was she? And Tony had accepted her invitation? She'd known that he was superficial, but that woman …? Kate tried to tell herself that all men were obviously stupid and not worth one single tear, but she couldn't help the stinging feeling that cut right through her chest.

"Hi, Kate!" Abby had appeared in the door with a broad grin on her face.

Kate relaxed at seeing the young woman, happy not to be alone with Tony any longer. But the problem with Abby was her ability to look right through Kate. She didn't have to look at her twice to know that something was wrong.

"Kate, you alright?" she asked. Of course, Tony chose exactly this moment to come back into the room.

"Sure, Abby. I just didn't sleep well, that's all." It wasn't even a lie. She was tired, but she doubted that was what Abby had meant. "What have you got?" she asked quickly to draw Abby's attention away from her.

"The blood on the pocket-knife", Abby started, still looking at Kate with a curious expression. "The blood group matches the victim's and it's definitely not the suspect's. DNA is going to take some more hours."

While Abby left the room to tell Gibbs her news, Tony joined Kate at the window and watched Gibbs open the door and listen to Abby's whispered report.

"He's going to confess", Tony said. "The case is obvious. Why would he still deny it?"

"Worried about your date?" Kate asked bitterly.

"Huh?" Tony looked at her wide-eyed.

Kate couldn't believe she'd just said that. She wasn't supposed to be interested in Tony's dating record! But still, she wasn't able to keep herself from continuing: "As long as the case isn't closed, you can't go out with one of our witnesses."

"She's not a witness."

"You want to ask Gibbs what he thinks about it?"

Tony didn't answer. He knew she was right. The waitress wasn't a suspect, but still was related to their investigation. As long as the case wasn't solved, he couldn't go out with her. The strange thing was that he wasn't even very much looking forward to having a date with Candy. But he desperately wanted to find something that would keep his thoughts away from Kate, at least for some hours – and that's exactly what a date with a tall blonde would be good for.

"He's going to confess", Tony repeated simply and watched how Gibbs confronted the suspect with Abby's findings.

Half an hour later they had the confession and returned to their desks to start with the paper work. It was half past six in the evening. Tony would be able to get to his date in time, Kate thought. Since this morning there had been no doubt for her that Tony would go on with his life like nothing had happened last night. But the fact that he was going on a date today, one night after … It seemed that he was even more superficial than she had thought.

She was feeling sick and hurt and she was still tired. All she wanted to do was go home, take a bath and then sleep – on the couch, because she sure wasn't going to be able to sleep in her bed tonight. But all the while she felt that she shouldn't let it get so close to her. Last night's events hadn't affected Tony in the least, why wasn't she able to take it as easy?

Kate looked over at Tony. For once he was actually working, typing his report. He had pursed his lips in concentration and Kate smiled at the sight. He looked cute when he did that, like a boy who was sitting over a test. When she realised what she was doing, her smile faded immediately. "That's enough!" she thought. She needed to get out of there.

Quickly she grabbed her things, took some of the paperwork to finish it at home and left the desk. But her hands were shaking and when she readjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder, the papers slid out of their folder and fell to the ground. Sighing she bent down to pick them up, but only managed to drop the second folder too. Frustrated she stopped and took a deep breath. Her eyes were burning and the effort it cost her to keep her feelings together definitely started to get too much for her. She closed her eyes and fought back the tears, but quickly reopened them when she heard someone bend down next to her and collect the papers from the floor.

Tony. She looked at him, letting him pick up all the papers because she didn't trust her movements any more. When he was finished, he put the papers back into the folder and handed it to her. She took it, then slowly stood up.

"Are you heading home?" he asked. A small smile appeared on her lips when she heard his soft tone. She just couldn't help it.

But she only nodded and turned to leave, but then he said: "You were right, you know. About the case."

"What do you mean?"

"You said it had something to do with the fight at the bar and you were right." He smiled at her.

Kate only shrugged. Earlier today it had bugged her that he hadn't accepted her theory, but it didn't matter anymore. It wasn't the reason why she was so upset and there would be no use in pretending everything was alright. Because it wasn't.

"Have a good night", he said when she had already started towards the elevators.

Kate looked at him over her shoulder, but didn't answer. She was thinking about the plans he had made for the evening and to wish him a good night would have been cynical.

tbc ...


	6. More than just friends

**Chapter 6: ****More than just friends**

Tony arrived at the club shortly after 10 o'clock. After getting home from work he had called Candy and had agreed to meet her in town. He was in a bad mood, but hoped that a night out would cure him.

The moment he walked through the door, a deafening wave of music hit him. The place was crowded, mostly people in their early twenties, guys with too much gel in their hair and girls wearing clothes which didn't leave much to the imagination. It was exactly the type of place Tony liked and frequented on a regular basis. He even remembered having been to this club before. He had danced with some girls and had gotten hooked up with a young brunette who took him home with her. The relationship had ended at sunrise. They hadn't exchanged phone numbers or even second names and he had never seen her again. He didn't expect tonight to be any different from then.

His date was waiting on one of the couches in the back of the club. When she saw him she smiled and waved at him. Tony took a moment to look her up and down. She sat on the couch with her long legs crossed, wearing an almost non-existent black mini skirt and glittering blue top that gave a clear view down the valley between her breasts. When Tony didn't approach, Candy stood up and slowly walked over to him. She was wearing black high heels which obviously made walking very difficult for her. But she reached him all the same and kissed him on both cheeks. "Hi, Tony!" she chirped. "I'm glad you could make it."

Her arms had wrapped around his neck and his nose was full of the fruity scent of her perfume. He compared it to Kate's scent of soap and vanilla shampoo and found that he didn't like the perfume very much. But he was here to have fun, wasn't he?

"Me too", he answered cheerfully and put an arm around her waist to lead her back to the couch. "Did you already get a drink?"

"Yeah, but I could use another one." She giggled childishly, pointing at her empty glass.

"Sit down. I'll be back in five minutes." Tony left her and headed for the bar.

It was strange. Normally he was good at this. Dating girls he hardly knew and would very likely not get to know any closer, that was his thing. But tonight nothing felt right. While he waited at the bar he found himself wishing that the barkeeper wouldn't be so quick, because the young guy put the drinks in front of him only one minute after Tony had ordered them. Now he had to go back to his date. Normally he would have thought about some compliments for her and some good stories to tell her about himself, but tonight his thoughts kept wandering off. He wondered what Kate was doing right now. Another evening spent on her couch? He realised that he would be happy to spend it with her, watching an old movie or just talking about unimportant things and kiss her whenever she looked at him with that smile of hers that made his stomach flip.

At this thought Tony shook his head. He had to stop. These thoughts wouldn't lead him anywhere, they just hurt. So he returned to Candy and sat next to her on the couch, but all the while he felt like he was watching himself from the outside. What was he doing there? He was about ten years older than the girl. Damn, he was about ten years older than everybody in this club! Yet Candy didn't seem to mind while she constantly tried to get closer to him, touching his arm or leg and laughing at every single comment he made. He looked at her when she laughed. She was definitely attractive and she left no doubt that she was easy to get. He liked blondes. He usually did. But tonight he just couldn't figure out what he normally did when he was out on a date with one. And then he realised that he actually did know, but just didn't want to do any of it tonight. He didn't want to get all flirtatious and show-offish, he didn't want those light touches that were playful in the beginning and then became more serious. He didn't want that. Not with her.

When Tony realised that, he first tried to ignore it. But Candy didn't stop giggling and kept invading his personal space – which normally he wouldn't have minded in the least. But tonight it started to really get on his nerves.

Before he realised what he was doing he stood up. Candy smiled and got up too. "You wanna get out of here?" she asked flirtatiously.

Tony sighed. "Listen … uh … Candy", he started. "I … I don't think this is such a good idea."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean us … this …" Sighing, he broke off, then tried again. "This date is a mistake because I … I just can't start anything right now."

"Are you in a relationship?" she asked disappointedly. "Because, you know, I've made this experience and I can tell you …"

"No, I'm not in a relationship", he interrupted her. "It's just … it's kinda complicated." He sighed again. "Candy, I'm sorry. But I have to go." And with this he turned around and left the club without even looking back.

"Great", he thought when he reached his car and climbed onto the driver's seat. Wasn't it bad enough that Kate refused to even look at him? No, in addition to that it now turned out that he couldn't be together with other women any more. What had happened? Why couldn't he go on? Sure, his relationship with Kate had never been that of co-workers. Or not only that. She had been a friend, almost a bit like a little sister – a quite annoying little sister. But there was nothing romantic about that, damn it!

Tony started the engine. Who was he trying to fool? If the feeling he got when looking at Kate was what a sister would make him feel, then there was something seriously wrong with him. Maybe they had been just friends at some point, but that had changed, drastically. He had seen the look in her eyes when she had sat next to him in hospital, not sure if he'd live or die. And he had felt the soaring pain of fear in his chest when she'd been hit by Ari's bullet on that rooftop, only to find that the shot had hardly scratched her skin. He could've lost her then, but hadn't. But now he had. Because even if it was obvious for the two of them that they were more than just co-workers – and he was quite sure that Kate felt that too – he'd completely crossed the line last night. It was a great step between some flirtatious looks in the office and actually having a sexual relationship. He wasn't sorry for what had happened – it had been far too good to feel sorry for it – but if it really had destroyed the relationship they'd had, then he wished he could turn back time and never let it happen. Because he didn't think that he could take it much longer to see that look on Kate's face. That look of deception and, even worse, shame.

---

Kate was early for work the next morning. She had hardly slept because thoughts of the night before wouldn't stop spinning in her head. She had made the mistake of entering her bedroom and memories had swept over her. Then she had tried to sleep on the couch, but since the couch was where everything had started, it was as bad as her bed. So she had lain awake during the long hours of the night and had tried not to think of last night or about the possible outcome of Tony's date. It had almost driven her insane to imagine that he was spending the night with that woman. It still did. Now in the morning she was completely exhausted and, what was even worse, also looked like it.

When she entered the building she didn't go up to the office. It was unlikely that Tony was already there, but she didn't want to take any chances. So instead she decided to visit Abby. She knew that to see Abby meant having to answer a lot of questions about her current condition, but she didn't care. She was too tired to care.

As expected, Abby was already in the lab. Even before entering Kate heard the music that made the walls vibrate. Abby was standing in front of a computer screen jumping up and down in time with the music. Kate noticed that she was actually jumping and typing at the same time.

"Hey, Abby!" she shouted from behind her, but had to wave a hand in front of her eyes to get her attention.

"Hi, Kate!" Abby yelled cheerfully and smiled broadly at her. But then her expression became serious and she tilted her head to one side to look at Kate questioningly. Then she went to turn the music down. Kate sighed in relief, when the noise ended.

"Kate", Abby started sounding very serious. "You really have to tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you." She came back and stood in front of Kate, laying both hands on her shoulders.

Kate opened her mouth, about to assure her that there was nothing wrong, but Abby interrupted her before she could say a single word: "Don't you dare tell me that you're okay!" she said pointing an index finger at Kate. "Sweetie, you look terrible" she continued softly and pulled her into a tight hug. She got even more worried when she felt that Kate was holding on to her as if it was a question of life and death.

"You're angry with Tony, aren't you?" Abby asked carefully. "I noticed how strange the two of you act around each other. What did he do? Kate?"

"I don't want to talk about it", Kate whispered, finally letting go. "I really don't want to. Can I just stay here for a little while?"

"Sure you can", Abby said softly. Kate's eyes had tears in them and her bottom lip had started to tremble. Abby clenched her teeth. She was so going to kill Tony!

---

The day seemed endless. They didn't have a new case, so Tony, Kate and McGee spent the time in the office doing old paperwork. In the beginning Kate had tried to position herself in front of her screen so that it would cover her from Tony's view, but had failed. So she had settled for just working without looking up, which worked better and she actually managed to concentrate. She had had about five cups of coffee, but the exhaustion wouldn't go away. She noticed that Tony, too, drank more coffee than he usually did. Hadn't he gotten to sleep? Had Candy kept him awake? Kate suddenly felt sick.

Tony tried his best not to fall asleep. Two nights in a row he hadn't slept for more than two hours. He kept lying awake because he couldn't get his head to shut down and give him some rest. He had tried to think of a way to talk to Kate without having her rip his head off, but couldn't think of a good strategy. Of course, he could try to get her alone and ask her to listen to him for five minutes, but the truth was that he was terribly afraid of what would happen next. He didn't want her to shout and he definitely didn't want her to cry, but didn't see any chance not to make her do either the one or the other – or even both. Feeling like a coward he went on with his work and tried not to look at her too often.

It was late in the afternoon when Kate decided to get one more cup of coffee before finishing her work and going home. Tony watched her when she stood up and walked towards the break room. This time he didn't think, he just followed her. When he reached the door to the break room he saw her stand in front of the coffee maker and fill it with new coffee. Then she pressed the button and leaned on the counter to wait.

With great effort Tony took one step inside and closed the door behind him. Kate looked over her shoulder to see who had come in, then jumped in shock. Her eyes quickly fixed on the black liquid that started to fill the pot. Tony knew that she heard him approach because he saw her body stiffen. Three steps behind her he stopped.

"I want to talk to you", he said quietly. Kate didn't react. Tony's heart pounded heavily in his chest. He wanted to turn around and leave, but he continued: "We need to do something because if things continue to be so tense between us, Gibbs is going to notice and when it starts to affect our work he will …"

"I don't care about Gibbs right now", Kate interrupted him. Her voice was shaking and she still didn't look at him. "It's not going to affect our work, we can make sure it doesn't. And everything else is none of his business."

"Sure, you are right", he said hastily. "But don't you think that we need to do something for our sake? I mean … seriously, work is no fun like it is right now. And I can see that you are not feeling well, so …"

"Oh Tony, stop it, will you?" she demanded angrily and turned around to face him. "Whether or not I am feeling well is definitely none of your business. I'm a grown woman, I can handle it. And since you have already proved to both of us that you are over it, it seems that there is no problem left to solve for us." She looked at him with burning eyes for a second, then turned around to her coffee again.

Tony looked at her in shock. "What do you mean 'I proved' … oh!" It suddenly hit him that she was talking about his date last night and he felt that he had to explain. "Yeah right, I went out with Candy, but …"

"So you did go out with her!" She spun around and even took a step towards him. Tony found her quite scary at that moment. "And now you want to explain?" she shouted. "Let me get this straight: I am not interested in who you date, when you date them and especially not why you date them, so keep it to yourself!" She stormed past him and out of the room, coffee forgotten.

Tony was left standing at the counter with his hands shaking. He kicked the trash can in frustration and swore under his breath. "Idiot", he muttered.

_tbc..._


	7. Intervention

_A/N:__ Here comes Abby! I know you've been waiting for her to kick Tony's ass._

**Chapter 7****: Intervention**

Tony left the break room but didn't go back into the office and headed for the elevators instead. He needed some fresh air. When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself face to face with Abby.

"Tony! Exactly the one I was looking for", she cheered and pulled him inside the elevator.

"Abby, can it wait?" he moaned. "I am not in the mood right now."

"No, can't wait. Don't worry, it won't take long."

Sighing, Tony accepted his fate and waited silently until they reached the right floor and then followed Abby into her lab. When the electric doors slid shut behind him he was surprised to hear the lock close. He turned around and tried to reopen them, but failed.

"Abby, I think the doors are …"

"There's nothing wrong with the doors", she said.

Tony looked at her in confusion. "Did you lock us in?"

Abby had already taken some steps inside the room, but now came back to Tony and stopped right in front of him. "We need to talk", she said, expression serious.

"About what?"

"About whatever problem there is between you and Kate."

Tony rubbed his forehead with one hand and sighed deeply. Then he tried a smile. "Come on, Abs. Abbyyyy. You can't be serious about that. I mean locking us in so that I don't escape this conversation … Don't you think that's a bit childish?"

"If I were you I wouldn't insult the single person who knows how to unlock the doors."

"Fine", Tony sighed. "Let's start. First of all: Why do you think Kate and I have a problem?"

"Because I'm not blind, Tony! Kate looks like hell and now that I mention it – you don't look much better. You lack sleep, both of you, and you are definitely very upset about something."

"Why don't you ask Kate? I thought the two of you were best friends."

"She was here this morning."

"Really?"

Abby nodded seriously. "I know she's hurting, but she wouldn't tell me why. I only know that it has something to do with you."

"And that's why I'm here?"

"That's why you are here."

They looked at each other for some seconds, then Tony sat down on one of the chairs in front of a computer and waited until Abby joined him. She pulled out a second chair, sat down in front of him and made an impatient gesture for him to start talking. So he talked:

"The day before yesterday I went over to Kate's place after work because I had the feeling she needed some company. She was really upset because of the case and we talked it through. But then she started crying and I didn't know what to do, so I hugged her." He stopped and looked at Abby.

"Okay", she said slowly. "So far I can't see what you've done wrong."

"We kissed", Tony finally admitted.

"I knew it!" Abby yelled. She jumped up from the chair, started to jump up and down and danced around Tony who just looked at her in disbelief.

"You knew what?" he asked.

Abby calmed down a bit and returned to her chair. "I knew that there was something going on between you. Ever since she stayed with you in the hospital it was quite obvious. And now you kissed. How was it?"

Tony shook his head. Abby had obviously completely forgotten why they were having this conversation. "I hadn't finished the story yet", he told her. "Remember? You wanted to know why Kate and I were so upset."

"Oh, sure, sorry. Go on."

"Well, so we kissed. But that's not all that happened. We ended up in bed together."

He could tell that Abby did her best not to start dancing again. But this time she seemed to notice that there was still a part of the story missing. "So the two of you had sex", she stated. "What's the problem?"

"The problem is that it shouldn't have happened. Kate had been crying, she was so upset. She needed comfort and there I was. But she didn't mean for that to happen, she …"

"Wait. She told you that?"

"Well, no, actually, but isn't it obvious? I mean, she hasn't been able to look at me or talk to me since then and you said yourself that she's obviously hurting."

"So you haven't talked about it yet?"

Tony shook his head. "I couldn't handle the situation and I knew Kate wouldn't be able to either, so I left."

"Left?"

"Yeah. When she had fallen asleep, I left."

Abby stared at him in disbelief. Then she suddenly stood up, took one step forward and hit him over the head. Hard.

"Ouch!" Tony screamed. "What was that for?"

"What was that for?" Abby echoed. "You idiot, you moron, Tony, you are … you are such an ass!"

"What?"

Seemingly exhausted Abby fell back into the chair. "I can't believe you did that."

Tony didn't say anything. He knew why Abby was so angry, but she didn't understand. And he didn't know how to explain, so he remained silent.

"Were you sorry for what had happened?" Abby asked.

"You mean for sleeping with her? No, I wasn't. But now I am. Because it has messed things up completely."

"Then I don't understand why you left."

"I know you don't. I don't really know myself, it's just … at that moment I … I didn't know what else to do. I imagined that Kate would wake up in the morning, see me and throw me out of the house."

"Why would she want to do that?"

"Because I used her", he said almost inaudibly. "I took advantage of the situation because I wanted to sleep with her and I didn't think about … about … Actually, I didn't think at all."

Abby leaned forward on her chair. "So what you're saying is that you're acting strangely around Kate because you think she is angry with you for having slept with her?"

"In simple words, yes."

"Oh my", Abby sighed. "Okay, Tony, I'm going to ask you a question and I'm really trying to put it as simple as possible so that even your masculine brain will understand: Have you ever considered the possibility that Kate might be upset not because you slept with her, but because you sneaked out in the middle of the night after it had happened?"

After that Tony stared at her for such a long time without speaking that she started to get really worried. But then he blinked several times and asked: "Did Kate tell you it was like that?"

"No, Tony. I told you, she hasn't talked to me at all."

"But you think it could be possible?"

"Actually I think it's very likely."

Tony buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "I can't believe this", he groaned. "But how do I find out what it really is?"

"How about you go and ask her?"

Tony nodded, then he stood up. "Let me out, will you?" he murmured.

In the elevator he leaned against the side wall of the car and closed his eyes. What was he supposed to do now? If Abby was right, the only way to get Kate to admit her true feelings was that he opened up to her first. But if he was right, then by telling her how he felt he offered her a great possibility to tear his heart into pieces. And he wouldn't put it past her, considering the mood she was in.

Slowly he walked into the office – only to find Kate's desk empty.

"McGee, where's Kate?" he asked.

"She went home half an hour ago."

"Oh." Tony stared at Kate's desk for some more seconds, then he turned around on his heels and headed back to the elevator.

_tbc …_

_A/N: One more chapter to come. The more reviews I get, the more motivated I am – and I write faster when I'm motivated!_


	8. Confessions

_A/N: You've been a great audience. Here's the final chapter for you. Enjoy!__ (And let me know if you did!)_

**Chapter 8: Confessions**

After coming home from work Kate had taken a shower and changed into a pair of dark blue sweatpants and a white tank top before curling up on the couch. She was so exhausted, all she wanted to do was sleep. But she also felt restless and the memories of her earlier conversation with Tony wouldn't leave her mind. She hadn't cried in front of him and she was proud of it, but now, finally alone, she gave up the fight and let the tears fall freely.

It was exactly then that her doorbell rang. Kate groaned, but didn't move. The bell rang again, then the visitor started to knock. Kate wiped her eyes, sighed deeply and slowly got up. She'd just ask whoever it was to go away.

She'd almost reached the door, when she suddenly heard Tony's voice from the outside: "Kate, please open the door. I know you're home."

Closing her eyes she leaned her forehead against the cool wood. Why? Why did he have to make everything even more complicated? Couldn't he just leave her alone?

"Kate", he repeated, softer this time. „Kate, please."

"Go away", she said. She'd spoken so quietly she wasn't sure if he'd heard her. But she was afraid that when she spoke louder he would be able to hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm not going away", he told her. "Not before we've talked."

"We have already talked, remember?" she said. "And I told you I didn't want to talk anymore."

"But I do!"

Kate sighed and tried one more time to send him away. "Go away, Tony, please." She was almost begging this time.

But still he refused. "No. We are going to have this talk. It's up to you to decide if we'll do this through your closed door or if you want to face it."

Slowly she reached for the knob and turned it. She opened the door a few inches and looked at Tony through the gap. He met her gaze, but didn't move. He waited for her to ask him in.

"If I let you in and we have this talk, will you leave afterwards?" she asked.

"If you want me to."

"Okay", she whispered and stepped back to let him in.

Then he was standing in her living room and didn't move nor speak. He was staring at the couch with a strange expression on his face. After one minute or so Kate just left him there and went into the kitchen to poor herself a glass of water. When she turned around to go back she found him standing in the door, blocking her exit.

"Do you …" She swallowed with some difficulty then finished her sentence: "Do you want something to drink?"

He shook his head.

_Why doesn't he say anything?_ Kate wondered. She felt uncomfortable because of the way he was blocking her in, so she pushed past him to get into the living room. But she immediately regretted it because she got so close to him in the doorway that all her senses were suddenly flooded by his presence. She hesitated for only the fraction of a second, but Tony noticed and reached for her hand to turn her towards him. Then they were standing there facing each other, only inches between their bodies. Tony still held her hand and Kate felt her knees go weak. She desperately wanted to throw herself into his arms, so badly that her whole body ached. But then she came back to her senses and freed her hand. Quickly she walked into the living room. Tony turned towards her, but stayed near the entry.

He still hadn't spoken, so Kate finally asked: "Tony, why exactly are you here?"

"Because there's something I need to know."

"And that would be?"

"I need to know why you are angry with me."

"Why I am angry with you?" she repeated, almost laughing at the absurdity of that question. "Is this your way of sorting things out? By asking me why I'm angry?"

He shrugged. "I've already tried to do it by having a decent conversation with you, but you ran away, remember?"

"So is it my fault now?" she snapped.

"I'm not suggesting it's anyone's fault. I'm only saying that I'm the one who tries to make things work between us again – and it would be nice if you could be a little more cooperative."

Kate forced herself to count from ten backwards before she answered. Had she spoken immediately she would have perhaps used quite a variety of dirty words. But after the pause she decided that it wasn't worth the effort. "Tony, I don't think this is going to work", she said. "It would be better if you left now."

"Don't do that, Kate", he sighed and went towards her. He stopped right in front of her and looked down into her eyes. "Don't send me away now." He could see that she was fighting an inner battle. She wanted him to go, but obviously she also wanted to sort things out between them. He could see that she'd been crying earlier, because her eyes were still slightly bloodshot and they shone with held back tears. He was so sorry that he'd done that to her. And it was obvious that being with him made it still harder for her, but he couldn't leave, not before he knew. Not to mention that he didn't want to leave. His heart beat faster than usual and there was this light and at the same time disturbing feeling in his stomach just because he was standing so closely in front of her. Without consciously thinking about it one of his hands came up and cupped her cheek. And for the fraction of a second he felt her lean into his touch. But then she suddenly jumped back as if she'd been burned. Without letting him out of her sight she slowly backed away and moved around the couch as if it could serve as a protective shield between them. Tony sighed deeply. The hand which had touched her was now clenched up into a fist to keep it from shaking.

Kate crossed her arms in front of her chest and nervously cleared her throat. When Tony looked at her she saw that he was feeling as uncomfortable as she was. So she decided to make this thing as easy as possible for both of them. "Listen, Tony", she said. "You don't have to do this. Really. I will be fine. And I promise I will keep myself together at the office. It won't affect our work if we don't let it. So you can just leave, okay?"

Her words had sounded so rational that Tony felt almost convinced by what she had said. But then he thought about it again and shook his head. "I'm not leaving."

Sighing deeply, Kate made an encouraging gesture towards him. "Well, then I suggest you start to say whatever you are here to say."

"If it were as easy as that", he sighed. "I was thinking about what to say the whole night, but I haven't come up with anything yet."

"Why didn't you ask the woman lying in bed with you? Maybe she could've helped you out?" Kate suggested bitterly.

She was taken aback by the expression of obvious shock on Tony's face.

"You … you … I forgot that …" he stammered.

"What?"

Tony wanted to hit himself. "You thought I had slept with Candy, that's why you shouted at me today."

Kate felt quite embarrassed. She really had lost all control when they had talked in the break room earlier. But, wait! Had Tony just said …? "What do you mean: I thought you had slept with her?" she asked carefully.

"Nothing has happened between Candy and me." He watched her closely while saying that. Had he just seen some signs of relief on her face? He wasn't sure, but continued all the same: "I met her at a club and bought her a drink. But then I realized I was not interested and I went home."

"Not interested?"

"Not at all."

"But … why?"

Tony didn't answer. He looked at Kate for some seconds, then stared to the ground. "I didn't want to hurt you by going out with that girl", he finally admitted. "And I'm sorry if I did."

"But then why did you agree to meet her in the first place?"

"I don't know, seriously, I don't. I guess I just wanted to show you that what had happened between us wasn't such a big deal and that things could be normal again."

The moment he finished his sentence and looked at Kate he realized that what he was trying to explain had come across completely wrong. Was there a more stupid thing in the world than telling her that sleeping with her hadn't been a big deal? Kate had already started to relax a bit, but now he could actually see her body tense. The expression on her face became hard and angry. Suddenly she came towards him around the couch and when she reached him she pushed him towards the door with her hands on his chest. "Out!" she shouted. "I knew this was a mistake. Get out!" When he didn't move she continued to punch his chest with her hands. "Get out! I don't want you here! I don't want to see you ever again!"

Tony had no idea what he should do now. He finally managed to grab her wrists and hold her so that she had to stop beating him. She tried to free herself, but he didn't let her. It took a while, but finally she calmed down. Then she closed her eyes and dropped her head, her whole body shaking with her sobs. Tears were running down her face now.

"Kate, I'm sorry", Tony whispered. "I didn't mean it that way. I wanted …" When he still couldn't find the right words he moaned in frustration. "Why does this have to be so difficult?"

"I don't know", she said almost inaudibly. She had no power left in her to fight him. When she tried to free her hands this time, Tony just let her go and she brought as much distance as she could between them by backing up against the wall next to the closed door to her bedroom. She reminded Tony of some scared animal that tried to find a place to hide.

Now he thought twice about every word before he spoke again. He really had to get it right this time. "I guess when you opened the door for me you were expecting an apology", he said. "But I didn't come here to apologize, because I am not sorry for what happened between us. But I am sorry for what it did to us and I know that this mess is partly my fault – well, not only partly, I guess."

"No, Tony, you don't have to take the blame", Kate said immediately. "It was not your fault."

"But I was the one who left. Because that's what I do. The moment things start to get complicated, I run."

"But you are here now", she said. When he smiled at her, her stomach tied up into knots. Why he had to have this effect on her, she didn't know. There he was, about to explain to her why he thought that they shouldn't be together and all he had to do was smile to make her want to jump him. She sighed.

Tony knew that she now was ready to listen to whatever he had to say. And he was determined to say it – no chickening out this time. He still didn't know for sure if Abby was right with her theory, but he was just going to stick to the truth and then he would leave it up to Kate to decide whether she liked what she'd heard or not.

"When I came here to see you that evening I didn't have any bad intentions. I only wanted to check if you were okay, see if you could use some company. What happened then was … I hadn't planned for that to happen. How could I have … I would never have thought that you would let me get close enough to you to let anything like that happen. I was so surprised at first, but it felt so good, so I let it happen. Now I know that I should have stopped it … stopped us. You were not feeling well and I took advantage of it even though I knew that you'd regret it. And I am really sorry for that. I should have been stronger because you didn't have the strength at that moment."

After that he just stood there silently for what seemed like ages and didn't dare to look up from his hands. When he finally did look over at Kate he saw that she had sat down on the floor with her back against the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees. New tears glistened on her cheeks.

"Was that an apology for what happened?" she asked silently.

"No", he answered. "I've already told you that I am not sorry for what happened. All I'm sorry for is the way it happened, at that moment when all you needed was someone to comfort you."

Again it was silent in the room for a long time. When Kate finally spoke, her voice was so quiet he could barely hear her: "You acted like nothing had happened. You continued where we had left the day before when work was over. You didn't even have enough courage to face my reaction, you just sneaked out while I was sleeping. Everything would have been alright, but by acting like that you made me feel used and worthless. You made me realize that I was nothing more than one more girl on your list."

If up to that point she hadn't managed to hurt him with her words, she now definitely had. She saw that his eyes went wide in shock and he somehow seemed to become smaller. He didn't look at her anymore. Her heart was beating like she had just finished a five mile run. She hadn't planned to say that to him – the words had just fallen out of her mouth.

Now she watched in shock as Tony turned around and slowly walked towards the door. What did that mean? Did he just accept what she had said? Then it was true? Until now Kate had secretly hoped he would admit that to him the night with her had meant much more than a simple one-night-stand. That everything that had happened afterwards had been nothing but a stupid misunderstanding. But now he was about to leave and Kate just couldn't accept that.

He had already reached for the doorknob when Kate suddenly jumped to her feet and called out his name. Slowly he turned around and she was shocked to see tears shimmer in his eyes.

"Tony", she said weakly. "If it's not true … If I have made a mistake, then … Oh, please, just talk to me!"

Suddenly he stormed across the room until he was standing right in front of her. Startled, Kate pressed her back against the wall. She could almost feel the tension in his body and it scared her because she didn't know what was coming next.

"I was ashamed", he suddenly said and his gaze locked on hers so intensely that she couldn't hold it, so she looked away. "I was ashamed", he repeated. "Okay? Because normally I don't pursue women who are in desperate need of comfort. Normally I don't take advantage of other people's weakness. But I did it with you. And the fact that it happened that way, with you, Kate, you of all people …" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he was able to continue: "That's what I feel ashamed for. That's why I sneaked out like a coward. I didn't want you to tell me what a huge mistake we had made. I didn't want to hear it. And that's why I acted like nothing had happened."

"But it was me who kissed you first", she whispered, her gaze fixed on his chest. He was so close to her she could feel the heat radiating off his body. When he didn't react she looked up and saw an expression of utter surprise on his face. "It was me who started it", she continued, her voice soft. "Because I wanted it. And because I wished that it would be more than just sex. But it wasn't fair to have these expectations. I can't force you to feel the way I do."

"The way you do?" he asked hoarsely.

She nodded and looked to the ground. Tony carefully put two fingers under her chin and lifted her face so that she had to look at him. "But it did mean something to me", he said. "It meant everything to me. How could it not?" Slowly he lifted one hand to her face and wiped away her tears.

Suddenly Kate let out a small sob. She made one step forward, wrapped her arms around his back and buried her face in his chest. She felt him sigh deeply, then his arms went around her shoulders and he held her close. It felt so good and she was so relieved that her knees went weak and she had to hold on to him even more tightly. Tears started to run down her face again.

When Tony noticed that she was crying, he put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arms length to be able to look at her. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes." She nodded, crying and laughing at the same time. She wiped her tears away with both hands and smiled at him.

Tony saw her smile and felt a heavy weight disappear from inside his chest. He smiled at her in return and one of his hands wandered from her shoulder to the back of her head where it threaded through her hair. He bent down to kiss her, but Kate put one finger over his lips and shook her head.

"Uh-uh", she said.

"Kate!" Tony moaned. "Are you trying to kill me?"

She shook her head, trying her best to keep her expression serious. But he noticed the smile that she hid and looked at her questioningly. "What is it?" he asked in an amused tone.

"How do I know that your intentions are serious this time?" she wanted to know. She had meant to tease him with it, but the question came out sounding a lot more serious than she had wanted it to.

"You want to know about my intentions?" he asked.

When she nodded, he looked into her eyes, then softly stroked one strand of hair out of her face. The touch of his fingertips on her cheek made her shiver and the tender gesture made her heart ache. He continued to run his fingers through her hair while he spoke: "When I kissed you two nights ago, I meant it. And only yesterday I realized that I don't want any other woman in the world. Because you're different from the others. You make me think about roses and candlelight dinners. You even made me think about monogamy once or twice – ah!" He gingerly touched his arm where Kate had just slapped him. Now she was grinning wickedly. Tony took one step forward so that she was caught between his body and the wall. When he put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, there was no way left for her to escape.

"Am I allowed to kiss you now?" he asked politely.

The wicked grin appeared on her face once more and Tony started to realize that there were a lot of things he didn't yet know about Kate Todd. A lot of things that he couldn't wait to learn. "What are you still waiting for?" she teased.

When their lips finally met, Kate's eyes fluttered shut and her arms went around his neck again. As the kiss became more passionate, she tried to get even closer to him and sighed in relief when he pressed her harder against the wall. He dropped his hands to her shoulders and let them roam down the sides of her body. His lips left her mouth and he pressed gentle kisses down the side of her neck.

It was then that Kate caught his hands on her hips and slipped out of his grip.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked in confusion.

But Kate only smiled and opened the door they had been standing in front of. "Maybe you want to follow me and find out?" she suggested.

Shaking his head in disbelief he watched her walk down the short corridor and disappear inside her bedroom. When Tony reached the door she was standing in the middle of the room, facing him. She reached out one hand and he went to her without hesitation. Tony didn't know what he would do until he reached her, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. _Shouldn't I have kissed her?_ he wondered, but only pulled her closer. It was then that he realized how scared he had been during the last two days, scared that he might have lost her forever and would never again be able to lie next to her when she was sleeping.

Kate was surprised that he only held her close, but saw no reason to complain. She snuggled closer to him and enjoyed the fact that the searing pain inside her chest had finally vanished. He had made it go away. For a moment she wondered why she had no second thoughts. She had always been very careful when it came to approach a new relationship. But tonight something was different. She could tell by the way Tony held her that there was no need to worry. She knew that the next morning she wouldn't wake up alone.


End file.
